More lithium, please

November 29, 2009

After a month on lithium, I’ll be emailing my psychiatrist today to tell him about my symptoms and see if he thinks I should increase my dose to 1250mg.

My symptoms have been a whole lot of anxiety, irritability, obsessiveness, and not being able to sleep much in the morning.  And occasional rage.  Sounds mostly like anxiety, but has enough of mixed state in there that more lithium might help.

I’m fed up.  There’s no one person or thing to be angry at, but I just feel angry that several months of acceptance, drugs, DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) classes, Bipolar informational classes, talking to co-workers and family….  none of it seems to have been effective.

It’s hard to keep going.  I’m in no danger of suicide, just in danger of losing the will to do anything but acquiesce to the couch.

Things that will make me happy include reaching out to distant friends, going outside, and doing interesting activities, but this all seems just beyond my grasp.

I feel haunted by something my doctor said at our last visit: “I can medicate you, but I can’t medicate your life”.  I hope just a little more lithium will help me make changes in my life.


2 Responses to “More lithium, please”

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by kris_burns and Peter Brown, Linda Long. Linda Long said: RT @PeterBrownPsy: More lithium, please « Bipolar: Inquiries into How the Cookie Crumbles #bipolar […]

  2. Wow, that quote rings true with me too. It’s especially timely as there’s a lot of uncertainty surrounding my psychotherapy, which my psychiatrist insists is the mainstay of treatment.

    Things sound horribly difficult for you at present – what with all the mixed state / anxiety stuff and the sheer lack of motivation – and I can only empathise, though I wish more were possible. I just wanted to wade in and wish you well and I hope that your psychiatrist can make the right decision on the way forward.

    Take care 🙂

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